More Stories

 

More Stories

By Teak Kilmer

 

The Lynn Flowers story (the names have been retained to incriminate the guilty).

 

I lived in a halfway house after alcohol treatment and after we graduated from the program, we had Wednesday night groups after which we would go to Denny’s restaurant. One night about eight of us were sitting at a large round table. Bob (last name forgotten) came up to me with a monkey dish full of whip cream pretending to threaten to throw it in my face I suggested he didn’t want to see my violent side (just kidding).  Bob went over and sat down in his seat across from me and put the monkey dish down between him and his girlfriend Lynn. 

At one point Bob was looking away from Lynn and Cynthia O’Grady whispered to her and motioned to throw the whip cream in Bob’s face when he turned around.  When he turned around, he was appropriately splattered with white creamy stuff.  Everybody was laughing so hard Lynn especially who fell over backwards in her chair, and the back of her chair hit the fire alarm door handle opened the door, set off the alarm and Lynn rolled out into the parking lot as the door slammed behind her.  We could see that it was raining torrents out there and she was banging on the door to get back in, and my friends were rushing to the door to let her back in I emplored them not too. They didn’t. Lynn came around to the front of the building and came in a soaking mess we roared again and promptly gathered napkins and asked for paper towels to dry her off.  It was the funniest thing I have ever seen in person.  Lynn forgave me.

 

 

 The Road Less Traveled

 

 I was at the amazing Holden Village nestled in the Cascade Mountains and on my way back to my room to get a poem I had been working on (“Cowgirls At The Bridge”) others were heading toward vespers and on gentlemen addressed me and said, “you are going the wrong way.”  I replied, “I’m taking the road less traveled.” The next day I attended a class on the works of Robert Frost and lo and behold the same gentlemen who told me I was going the wrong way and to whom I replied that I choose the road less traveled was teaching the class. 

                                               How Ed Sullivan Saved My Life

When I was a child, on Sunday nights my family used to sit around the TV and watch the Ed Sullivan Show. One night they had a human pyramid where at the end of the act they all tumbled down onto the stage floor and tucked and rolled as well as warned people to "not try this at home". 

Decades later I was helping my brother build a deck on the back of his rented cabin on Bluejay Ridge, near the Russian river area in California. My brother Marty had already started the framing when I arrived as a guest willing to help build the deck. I asked Marty if all the joist had been nailed to the frame and he assured me they had, but there was one joist that I stepped on to get my balance to nail it to the frame on the outside of the deck-to-be. Unfortunately there was one joist that had not been secured next to the house. It swung out from under me at which point I recalled the Ed Sullivan program and thought, "I have to think fast and clearly".

I swung my arms vigorously to ensure that I would get my feet to land first following the 12 to 13 foot dissent to a very steep and rocky canyon slope. I managed to land on my feet, tucked and rolled like Ed's boys had instructed many years before. I spread my legs to prevent myself from rolling down the hill and managed to gather my balance as I was suddenly erect and almost tilting down the canyon wall. My brother and I were both amazed. Marty exclaimed, "how did you do that. That may be the most amazing thing I have ever seen". I had a few bumps and bruises, but that was all. Marty nailed the joist where it needed to be and we proceeded to build the deck after a long break and a cup of hot tea. Thank you, Ed Sullivan